Happy, Happy June

The last time we spoke, I was learning what it was like to be busy.  I thought I had learned it all.  But I was mistaken.  I have found that I am mistaken often.

This semester, I have learned a lot.  I learned that when you feel busy, you stop feeling much of anything else.  You stop feeling how comfortable your bed is.  You stop feeling the warmth of the people around you.  It is just you and the task at hand.  Or tasks.  Maybe even more tasks.  But you can feel a few things.  You feel overtired and overwhelmed.  You feel the passing of time, without having to surrender yourself to a silly little pillow.  Not that you find much of anything in that anyway.  And for a person who finds solace in being alone, even you can feel lonely.  In the midst of feeling so much and feeling so little.

And in the midst of my own battle (which in comparison feels so trivial and stupid), I experienced the greatest loss I have ever known.  I lost a truly great person and a truly great friend.  This loss is not something I know how to put in words quite yet.  But she does and so does she.  I haven't figured it out yet.  It's been over three weeks and I still don't understand.



After everything that happened, I know that I need to slow down.  I need to take more time for other people and more time for me.  Less time for things.  Less time for being busy.  I have people that are willing to wait on me.  People that believe in everything that I can do.  I need to sweep the rooms that are clouding up my mind.  I need to take down, brick by brick, all that which is guarding my heart.  I am going to lay down my mind and try to help myself.



And now it is June.  Happy, Happy June.  June is my birthday month.  My time for me to celebrate me.  And I am going to do just that.


June is for hot days and balmy nights.  For adventure and love.  For slowing down and racing hearts.  For the old and the new.  June is lazy, long, and happy days.  I love to make memories in June and I love to reflect on the memories made.  Reflection and growth.  Happiness and peace.



So here's to my life.  Fulfilling and complicated and hilarious and tiring and real.  And fun.  With work and different cities every year and art and great friends.  There is more Diet Coke than is healthy, responsibility, sleep, and happiness.


Happy, Happy June.