Battle Studies

Some battles are not meant to be fought, because in the long run, they are not meant to be won.


Friendships are these fights.  They are not meant to be fought.  In my earlier, more erratic years, I used to think that confrontation was the way to solve problems.  In some cases, it is.  But with friendship, I have learned to give it a little space.  If, after the space, the problem is still there, then it must be confronted.  However in most of the cases in my life, time heals wounds.

It is easy to want to solve things right away.  To want to talk about the real issue.  To get down to business.  But you don't know what it happening on the other end.  That one question may not feel like just a question; to the person on the other side, it may just as well be a loaded gun.  In times of trouble, take a deep breath.  Sit back, relax, gather your thoughts, and reconvene at a better time.

Tonight was a reconvening, in both senses of the word.  In the first of the night, a break was necessary.  A white flag had to be flown, if only for the night.  In the second, a friendship was saved.  The last time my friend and I spoke, we were tense.  The last conversation we had had the potential to the be the last conversation we would ever have.  But we took a break.  We spoke tonight and the friendship was salvaged.  We remembered everything that made us friends in the first place, and it took the place of what was trying to tear us apart.


It's true what they say: you win some, you lose some.  Unfortunately, sometimes friendships are those that are lost.  But only initially are they won.  When you battle with your friends, no one comes out as a winner.  Everyone loses because, when it comes to friendship, there is no such thing as a fair fight.


So love a little bit more.  Because when it comes down to it, it is kind of all we have.