Everything Is Changing, And I Don't Feel The Same

I'm sitting on the futon of a room I have lived in for five months now. I sit here everyday.

I'm listening to my next door neighbor blast her music and sing loudly. I hear this everyday.

I'm chatting with my friends about boys we like. I do this everyday.

I'm drinking Kool-Aid as a nightly treat. I drink this everyday.

I'm watching Disney Channel before I go to sleep. I watch this everyday.

But I'm lost. Confused. Bewildered. Mad. Stressed. Sad. But mainly my mind is just blown. How can I be in two places at once? How do I wish for one friend to leave the one she is with, while wishing the other to hold on for dear life? How do I support something I know anything about other than I have to support it?

My world is changing. My life is rearranging. I don't know what I am supposed to feel.