Everything Is Changing, And I Don't Feel The Same

I'm sitting on the futon of a room I have lived in for five months now. I sit here everyday.

I'm listening to my next door neighbor blast her music and sing loudly. I hear this everyday.

I'm chatting with my friends about boys we like. I do this everyday.

I'm drinking Kool-Aid as a nightly treat. I drink this everyday.

I'm watching Disney Channel before I go to sleep. I watch this everyday.

But I'm lost. Confused. Bewildered. Mad. Stressed. Sad. But mainly my mind is just blown. How can I be in two places at once? How do I wish for one friend to leave the one she is with, while wishing the other to hold on for dear life? How do I support something I know anything about other than I have to support it?

My world is changing. My life is rearranging. I don't know what I am supposed to feel.

Answer This

I have tried to write lately. I've gotten a few lines out and put a miniscule effort into it. Maybe it is the fact that I am not trying hard enough or that I haven't written in a while, but I am afraid that I have lost it.

Poetry used to flow from me as if it was the air that I breathed. It was so simple, yet breathtaking. I overwhelmed myself so often with the words that I was able to put on paper. A lot of the time, I had no idea that I felt that way. Poetry is therapy. I would pick up my pen, full of questions, and by the time I put it back down, I would have all of the answers.

I want to have all of the answers again.