Girl Talk

Something unbelievable happened this week.  On a Monday.  Nothing good ever happens on a Monday... or so I thought.  Boy was I wrong.

I just went to a concert.  Nothing too out of the ordinary, but I knew that this one would be different.  Girl Talk has been a favorite of mine since the first time I ever heard it.  It is the first CD I play when there is nothing on the radio.  Greg Gillis is one of the most important men in my life.  Needless to say, I was a little excited for the show.  I expected a good time but I got so much more than that.

There I was.  Front row.  Right in the middle.  I got to experience the concert the way it was designed to be seen.  When the guys with the leaf blowers shot toilet paper into the air, they leaned over me to do so.  When they sprayed water into people's faces, I was the go-to girl.  When the camera wanted a close-up for the screen on stage, I was a perfect choice.

The songs were perfect.  Just like they always are.  For someone with a wide range of tastes, Girl Talk is the perfect mix of everything I love about music.  So when I was standing at that concert, with everything I love right in front of me, I was able to let loose and just be me.

It did not matter how what I looked like or how I acted.  It did not matter who I was or what I wanted to do with my life.  I did not have to worry about my life plans or lack thereof.  I was just me.  A complete stranger to the crowd, but just like everyone else.  We just danced.  Without worrying about appearances.  We just did what we wanted to do.  We felt the music and let go.

It was the best concert I have ever attended.


I believe that hearts are made of glitter that you scatter around.  The more glitter in an area or on a person means that it is covered in your love.  I think the same is true with confetti....

I Have Let Myself Go

2010 ended on a wave of good times and memories that I will hold onto for a long to come.  The last few weeks of the year held some of the best times I have had during 2010.  When it came down to the year changing, I wasn't ready.  I have never been comfortable with change.  I am superstitious.  And this time it wasn't only the year changing, it was the decade.  Which really scared me.

I did most of my growing up during the past ten years.  I hit some major milestones.  Needless to say, I was wary for all of that to end.  I felt that fear that comes with turning in a project without having the time to proofread it.  I don't know if I was able to accomplish everything I had hoped for.  2010 ending was intimidating.  But as much as I wish otherwise, I have no control over time.  Things happen and time passes without my approval.  Thus the end of an era.


I did well and I did good over the past ten years.  I made major improvements.  I learned long division and calculus.  I mastered writing in cursive, and then I promptly forgot it.  I went from recess to study hall.  I lost and I won elections.  I witnessed birth and death.  I got braces and (thankfully) got them removed.  I broke bones and I learned how to fix them.  I lost friends and found even better ones.  But most of all, I learned how to be me.


So for this decade and this year, I compiled a list of non-goals.  A list of things that I already love about myself and things that I do right:
1.  Continue to be courageous.  You have been faced with tough situations but have found the strength to navigate through them with grace.
2.  You have cultivated a great ability to listen.  Keep listening to the voice inside of you and trusting what you truly want and need.  And keep listening to others.  Listen to their stories and learn from their voices.  They made need a shoulder to cry on, but you still need to be needed. 
3.  You have been confronted with new challenges and stretched in new ways, especially this year.  Be proud of the resiliency and focus you have shown.
4.  Never stop asking for what you want or need.  It will be better in the end.
5.  Don't forget that you are doing what you love.  Please don't forget that.


But just like every good thing must come to an end, I also reflected on the things that I must change.  So in this year and in this decade, I will:
1.  Drink more water and less Diet Coke.
2.  Stop being so lazy.  Life is happening while you are taking your sweet time.  Go out into the world and be a part of it.
3.  Be more adventurous.  Every time you have stepped out of the box, it has proven to be beneficial.  Get out of your comfort zone and see life in a different way.
4.  Hone your creativity.  It always comes in waves.  It is inside you, it is just hiding.  Go find it.  Dig deep and color the world.
5.  Love.  That is always the challenge for you, isn't it?  Be more open and accepting.  See what life is like on the other side.


I don't like change.  It took me a while, but I am ready to accept the challenge of moving forward.  I am ready.  I am willing.


I have let myself go.



2011, may you be just as exciting as I am anticipating.