Somethings

Somethings are for good reason.  Somethings hurt you.  Somethings are scary.  Somethings don't make sense.  Somethings we don't talk about.  Somethings are almost real.  Somethings are so real that it kills you.  Somethings break you down.  Somethings build you up.  Somethings are different.  Somethings will always be the same.  Somethings never know change.  Somethings change before your eyes.  Somethings are true.  Somethings are fun.  Somethings are meant to never be more than that.  Somethings are superficial.  Somethings are deep.  Somethings seem like they shouldn't happen.  Somethings are transcendent.  Somethings are wonderful.  Somethings you can depend on.



Somethings are short.  They explode into our lives and then vanish without a trace.  They're intriguing.  Meant only to make a moment of our lives more beautiful.  Sometimes, they leave an impact on life and while they're gone from sight, they last forever in our minds.


Somethings are unexplainable.  Random, spontaneous, but in these moments we find the truest aspects of our character.  We learn who we are when we're not thinking.  Who we are when we release ourselves and just let go.  We find what is natural.  What is waiting to arise.  In these moments, we make the biggest mistakes of our lives.  In these moments, come the most dramatic triumphs.


Somethings are fake.  They are false and have every intention of bringing us down.  They deceive and cheat.  They hide themselves for fear of rejection.  These things are the most difficult to spot, the most frustrating to deal with, and the things that we must avoid as best we can.


Somethings last forever.  They're permanent in our mind, because they are the defining moments of our lives.  They shape who we will become from the moment they begin.  These things are what we get out of bed for.  They are the spark that lights a twinkle in our eyes.  They're the smile on our face.


Nothing is meaningless.  Sometimes, things happen for no reason more than to put a smile on our face.  Somethings happen to teach us a lesson.  To help us grow.  But nothing produces no effect.  Nothing comes from something.  Everything is for a reason.

Glitter For Just A Moment

"All the world is made of faith, trust, and pixie dust."

J.M. Barrie



I once heard that giving pieces of your heart to others is not a good thing.  For a person who loves many people and places, when you give parts of you away, you are left with hardly anything in return.  Your friends may be scattered across the country and your home may be in two different places or it could be around the world. When you love that much, little pieces of your heart are everywhere.  There is no real way to get them back.

I learned from a very special person that hearts should not be made breakable.  Instead, hearts are like bags of glitter.  Wherever you go and whoever you meet along the way, you sprinkle a little bit of your sparkle.  And if that person or place is really special, they are able to shine a bit brighter.

My heart is not breakable.  My heart is scatterable, sticking firmly to those who reflect light.

She Is

A Little Change

I have never really been one for change.  I am always comfortable with the way things are, even if I am not content with them.  I like to know where everything is and how everything is.  When change comes, so does my anxiety.

I have not been pleased with the way that my room has looked for a few years.  Yet, I never did anything about it.  Everyday I would wake up to pictures of people who are no longer my friends, walk around to see reminders of friends who are no longer there, and go to sleep with the images of friends that I am no longer in touch with.  Every visual in my room was of places and people that do not bring happy memories.  Each picture was a reminder of loneliness and pain that I had to go through before I could get to be the person that I am today.

It has been three years and I am pleased to announce that there are only good memories in my room now.  The pictures are current and of people who mean the world to me.  My people, my life.

I was fearful of changing the appearance of my room.  I felt like it was going to trigger some sort of change that would be irreparable.  But it didn't.

A little change never hurt anybody.

143

I love you.
That's my secret.
No hearts.
No pretty drawings.
No poems or cryptic messages.
I love you.

Postsecret

I Have Worries To Give To The Sea

Are you feeling, feeling, feeling like I'm feeling

Like I'm floating, floating, up above that big blue ocean?

Sand beneath our feet, big blue sky above our heads.

No need to keep

 stressing from our everyday life on our minds.

We have got to leave all that behind.

The Avett Brothers, "At The Beach"

Love Affair With Words

I fell in love when I was in elementary school.  And it is true what they say, you fall in love.  It is not something that you can meander in and out of.  Love is not some-of-the-time.  Love is all-time.  When you fall in love, the love that is so true that it lasts a lifetime, you fall head over heels.  You sometimes fall too fast and it may take a while to stand.  Sometimes you run into barriers during the fall that slow you down or try to detour your path towards true love.  Often when you take the plunge, it is not graceful.  You plummet towards your future.

Elementary school is the first time where you are tested for grammar and spelling and vocabulary.  You learn phonics.  You learn how to put words together and take sentences apart.  You begin to understand that many words have similar meanings and are seemingly interchangeable.  You write and read.  But for me, I loved.

I began writing, and despite my shaky grasp of the English language, I have never turned back.  I found my cadence, my rhythm.  I took the plunge.  I fell and fell and am still falling to this day.

Words are so beautiful.  They have shape and sound.  Each word has a connotation and a denotation.  Each word means something literally and much more figuratively.  They need to be read and spoken.  They demand attention.  They are not just black and white figures on a sheet of paper.  They are every feeling that I have ever had in my lifetime and infinitely more than I will ever experience.  They are full of humor, pity, love, terror, and excitement.  They are full of me, and I am full of them.

I realized that words are the most important thing to me.  It was a delicious and innocent discovery.  I began my unencumbered romance immediately.  I would write my thoughts on paper.  If I heard something that I liked or that inspired me, I would write that down too.  Listening or speaking or writing.  It did not and still does not matter to me.  It is not the act or the practice that I love; I love the words themselves.

Words are everywhere I am and in everything I do.  I feel them even more than I am witness to them.  My love for the life of words is real.  I must live in them and with them, always.

Georgia On My Mind

This week my new roomie celebrates her birthday.  It is such a sweet time.  I am sad that I do not get to take part in the festivities, but I know that we will be do it big when we get back to Oxford.

We "met" this year (I put it in quotations because we technically met years ago, but neither of us remembers).  We quickly became friends and many of my favorite nights from this past year involve her in some way.  I cannot wait to see what this year has to offer us.

Sequestered in our corner room that is ever so tiny, I can see us now: watching Grey's Anatomy on the Tivo, studying for our dreaded classes, having way too much fun, barely climbing into our lofted beds, and loving every minute of it.

Happy Birthday!

We both have summer birthdays, so I feel like we have missed out on some monumental occasions in each others lives.



But I know...

Dreaming In Color

I am in love.

LOVE.



I don't know what I love the most: the colors, patterns, EVERYTHING.  Every time I look at this my eyes dance a little dance and I am not sure what to linger on the longest.  This room screams fabulous.  Michael Jackson is hanging on the wall.  The table is neon!  The lamps are exactly what I have had in my head for months but never seen anywhere.  The rug is fur, but it isn't obnoxious.  The hardwood floors and windows are too perfect.  The two floral chairs are just enough to make your heart spin.  I could lie on that couch forever and never grow tired.  The green, teal, orange, pink, ahhh.  I'm dying.  I have found my dream room.

But for just this moment, I will admit to a favorite.  My favorite part of the entire room is the vision board.  There is just a peek of it in this picture, but I can imagine what is posted on that board.  Friends and fashion.  Family and art.  Love and dreams and goals and every vision I have ever had.

This is my room.
These are my visions.

Anchored

"We have this hope 
as an anchor for the soul, 
firm and secure..."


Hebrews 6:19

Crossroads

I woke up to this morning to good news and bad news.  The good was funny and exciting, the bad was terrible.

The bad news was the first that  I discovered.  And it is bad.  It is about someone very special to me.  Someone who makes my life make sense.

I was so numb about the news that I immediately went out in search of something to distract myself.  Which is where I found the good news.  I found it in my friends.

I learned something today.  When my life might be crumbling down around my feet, my friends are there to hold my head above water.

So instead of being sad today, which would be really easy, I am going to be a big girl.  I am not going to let the burden of this news sink in and ruin me.  I am going to turn to people that can take my mind off of it.  People who love me and can make me happy despite what is going on.

Today, I will take the road with the sunshine.