Happy Birthday To Me

Today is my nineteenth birthday.  It is one of those in-between birthdays.  There is nothing that I can do at nineteen that I wasn't able to do at eighteen.  But that does not mean that I will take it for granted.  This past year was the best year of my life and I can only hope that this next year will be better still.

Nineteen things I have learned from the best year:
1.  The best days are ones that are the most ordinary.
2.  The best people are the ones who stick around.
3.  The best times are the ones where you are fearless.
4.  The best choices are the ones from your heart.
5.  The best memories are the ones that take you by surprise.
6.  The best meals are the ones you eat with your friends.
7.  The best nights are the ones you don't remember.
8.  The best friends are the ones who understand you.
9.  The best pictures are the ones where you are smiling.
10.  The best movies are the ones that make you laugh.
11.  The best classes are the ones that inspire you.
12.  The best shoes are the ones you can wear for miles.
13.  The best songs are the ones in which you know all the words.
14.  The best drives are the ones with no destinations.
15.  The best dreams are the ones that come true.
16.  The best stories are the ones you haven't finished yet.
17.  The best gifts are the ones you give.
18.  The best lessons are the ones you learn yourself.
19.  The best years are the ones that are yet to come.

Nineteen things I hope to accomplish this year:
1.  I want to watch the sun rise once a season.
2.  I want to give more of myself to my friends.
3.  I want to try something new once a month.
4.  I want to go outside of my comfort zone.
5.  I want to have my writing published.
6.  I want to go to sleep at a normal time.
7.  I want to be more open.
8.  I want to have someone change my mind.
9.  I want to learn something new.
10.  I want to be more dedicated to school.
11.  I want to go to more concerts.
12.  I want to be more involved with life.
13.  I want to teach something.
14.  I want to become a better photographer.
15.  I want to laugh all day, every day.
16.  I want to be more encouraging.
17.  I want to make my heart lighter.
18.  I want to believe in things a little bit more.
19.  I want to light up my life.

There are a lot of songs about being nineteen.  

A couple of them are about being braver than imaginable.  When courage is hard to find, they found it at age nineteen.  I want to find that.

A couple of them are about finding love and being so rapt in it.  But then the love is lost.  They blame it on being nineteen.  I wouldn't mind losing if it meant knowing love.

But the one that stands out to me is the one where they long to be nineteen.  They are old and looking back on the best year of their lives.  That is what I want.


Happy Birthday to me.

Walking in Memphis

Today was a good day.

Two of my very special Mississippi friends came to play with me.

Despite the bad weather and being stuck in the restaurant for two hours waiting for the power to come back on, we had a great time.  We went shopping in all of my favorite places and spent the day just being together.

I loved getting to explore my city with my friends.  Show them where I come from.

I love being a tour guide for my city.  I get such a tickle out of people getting worked up when we go downtown.  It might not be the safest place in the world, but it is one of the best.  We were so funny today keeping our guards up.  Hoping that the guy that walked in the store wouldn't steal our purses and that the car would still be there when we finished shopping.

The Sun That Doesn't Always Shine

Rest but never quit. Even the sun has a sinking spell each evening. But it always rises the next morning. At sunrise, every soul is born again.

Read Your Way Into My Heart

My To Do list this summer was not a hefty one to accomplish.  Sure, I wanted to work and hang out with my friends, but all in all, what I wanted more than anything else was just to read.

I find that I enjoy myself the most when I am immersed in literature.  I let the stories play themselves out in my mind and in my dreams.  I read and I read and I read.  Some days, it is all that I do.  I do not let the length of the work deter me: if it has the promise of teaching me something, I dive right in.  It does not matter if I have read the work before, or if I have seemingly nothing in common with the story line.

I love to read.

One of my dreams for my future home is to have a bookshelf that rivals this one:

A lot of people my age do not find the same thrill out of this past time.  For some people, reading is a chore.  It is something that they have to endure.  The terrible means to a passing end in some class or another.  I could never be that person.

I get emotionally attached to the characters in my books.  I love with them, laugh with them, cry when their lives turn a wrong corner, celebrate their successes, and am there for them page after page.

The people that I love in my life and the people that I love in my books are what I write about.  They inspire me.  Whether they are good examples or bad, they change my outlook on life.  They make me a better person.

So as long as I keep reading, I will keep writing.

And loving, learning, and living...

                                        

Waiting By The Phone

Picture this: a woman waiting by the phone.

It is an age old story that has been played over and over again.  She sits there patiently waiting for a text message or a call or any kind of notification.  She needs to know that she is still alive.  That the universe is bound to give her some kind of response soon.

She waits and she waits.

As she sits there, the time drags on so slowly.  Minutes seem like hours and hours like an eternity.

She waits hopelessly.  Desperately wanting some kind of sign telling her that it is okay to hold on.



But, like every modern story, the romance is taken out.  Like every modern story, the woman is longing for something that a man cannot give her.  She is not waiting for a call from her lover.  She is not wanting the response on the other end of the phone to be that of love.

She just wants her phone to work.



The girl in that story is me.  The story has been played out so much that it really isn't a story any more.  It should just be expected as a way of life by now.  I should know better than to just assume that my phone will work.  I should know now, by phone number 19, that some times technology just doesn't agree with some people.  I should know now that technology just is not my friend.

Every time I get comfortable with a phone, it breaks.  Just stops working.  Almost like the universe is trying to keep me on my toes.  Make it so that it is impossible for me to stay in touch with people.  Make me realize that technology is a double-edged sword: it is great until it isn't great.



So, this time, when I hold my phone, I will hold it a little bit more gingerly.  I will love it with a love that isn't ardent or comfortable; instead, I will love it with a love that is tender, but questioning.  A love that doesn't give it all away; a love that holds back.  I will be smarter this time.  I will be more wary of how I feel about it.  I will not wear my heart on my sleeve or even in my hand-held device.  I will be guarded, safe, protected.  I will welcome my new phone into my life with partially open arms.  I will treat it as a guest in my life, and not as something that I expect to stay.  I will acknowledge that it should be taken care of ever so sweetly, however I will always be aware of it's flaws.  I will be knowledgeable of what to do if it ever decides to start a war and take me down.  I will not go down without a fight.  This time, I will know that my phone and I are both vulnerable.  I will not take advantage of it's presence in my life again.

Good riddance, old phone.  I wish you well but I hope for better circumstances for both of us in the future.

The Men in My Life

Thoughts

Just a few thoughts that I have stumbled upon lately.

1.  I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2.  Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3.  I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4.  There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5.  How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6.  Was learning cursive really necessary?

7.  Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8.  Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9.  I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10.  Bad decisions make good stories.

11.  You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12.  Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13.  I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14.  “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this - ever.

15.  I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16.  I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17.  I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18.  I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19.  I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.

21.  Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.

22.  I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23.  The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.

24.  I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25.  How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

26.  I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an A-hole from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27.  Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28.  Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber and dumber every year?

29.  There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30.  As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists. 

31.  Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32.  Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

June 6

When God created June 6, He knew that it was going to be great.

Sydney:  You are always on the move.  We traveled the world together, and you are still on the run.  Celebrating your birthday in New York has got to be spectacular!  But I bet it can't beat your birthday in France!  Live it up.  I miss you and can't wait to see you when you get home!

Hillary:  What can I say about you?  You are a different breed, and for that I am thankful.  There aren't many like you in the world.  I'm glad that I can count you as my friend.  I am also glad that now I will be able to visit you every time I come home!  I am so excited for tonight so that we can celebrate together!

Katherine:  Shawty u da bestest.  How fortunate were we to have met?  I am so thankful for watching The Bachelor with you and listening to you rap.  As if last year wasn't enough fun, this year will be better.  I can't wait to spend it with you!  Wish we could celebrate together!  Me love you long time.

So ladies, near and far,

Happy Birthday

to the best of them all!

Breathe Me

Be my friend.

Hold me.

Wrap me up.

Unfold me.

I am small.

I'm needy.

Warm me up.

And breathe me.

My Sweet Friend

It is 23 days until my birthday.  But today when I woke up, I got to celebrate early.  I received a package from my sweet friend, Amanda.

Complete with:

So that I can celebrate by myself.  And:

So that I can enjoy myself.

But my favorite thing, which of course she knew it would be, was this:

All of the music from our favorite show.

Which has inspired a day of this:

And this:

So days after my birthday, when you return from:

(Yes, she is studying to be a wizard at Hogwarts this summer.)

We can have a dance party -- just the two of us.

So here's to you, sweet friend.

Thank you for making my early birthday so very sweet.